did i

did i go there

to that place

where one should not

or so says Father?

did i go there

two days before

then yesterday again

and today too?

did i go there

down that path

where two shall go

i went alone

Father did ordain

do not rush

when you are ready

you shall travel

with your heart in place

with your mind on track

with your body strengthened

and someone to care

but did i go all alone

two days before

and last night again

what i did too today

and Father knows

when i did sneak out

behind the tree branches

where i thought

no one would see

but i, at night

wherefore i thought

the evening has no eyes?

for what did i

trip down that lane

where dead mud of ages

moan in dark

yes, i, did i

fell into that mud

unclear, unclean

and withered

for i took my own hand

and felt for it

and thought i found it

when i was all but lost

they say you die

on that road

should you travel

down that way

did i go there

once twice thrice

did i die

or merely burned

some dark light

in that dark night

some dark moans

in dirt and sweat

and Father knows

though i lied

i do not believe

i took that trip

yet so clearly

on my skin

were those bruises

that made a girl

so unwhole.