i have had two friends. i've known them for a long time. i think we met when i was very little, but i can't remember.

there was this one morning that i think happened, and maybe this was the day i met them.

one got in bed next to me while i was still asleep, and i woke up with him beside me under the covers.
i threw the covers off immediately.

i ran around the apartment. then i ran out of it.

i might have tripped over the other running down the stairs to find the landlady that morning.
i went and demanded to know why i was left alone with a stranger, but i couldn't talk. my mouth was angrily bent, so crammed full of angry questions, angry sounds, and it tore right through my throat and pounded down on that space behind my face.

she looked at me with compassion, i guess. she took me in. she spoke to me, but i don't remember what she said. words, i guess, meant to soften me.

i cried into the bowl of cooling steamed milk as her cat jumped up on the table, her cat tail solitary and distant.