i told my dad about you today.
everything, almost.
everything that i know about you,
about how you put smiles
on my face and in my heart.
the way i pay for this happiness
in tears of frustration.
the way you love,
the way you fear,
how you want
but cannot get.
your weakness, hidden
behind gilded strength.
your fatigue and constant waiting,
your expectation for great joy
and great pain,
your hope for only the first
and not the latter.
how you talk to me...
darling,
dad disapproves.
not of you.
of me.
he told me
not to wish for things i cannot have.
love, he said, is like shopping.
if you pick what you desire the most,
you often cannot pay for it.
he told me
not to buy things i cannot afford.
he told me,
dear daughter,
you do not know him
all that well,
you do not yet see
aspects that you do not like.
he told me
i'd better stay away from you
as much as possible,
as long as possible.
he told me
not to stay here
to go back home
where i will not see you.
he said it will be better for me,
and for you.
i know that he's right.
i wonder if the summer is long enough
for me to wash and rinse you off.
a little more than an unlucky odd number of months-
they're all i have
until... goodbye, goodbye.
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