i call you _______________

since you seem to know everything. i call you _________ because i'd like you to lead, because i am behind. i'll take your word for it, and if you say you know, i really hope you do. because there's nothing worse than thinking you know, nothing more tragic than believing in an untruth. lying about our lies. it's become natural. 

my name for you is a fake sense of security. an anchor in the water that i fear so much. because if you can be on the bottom, then you will be there when i sink. because _________, i don't want you to smile wisely with those quiet, knowing lips when all you really want is to speak. 

__________. i want to know, would you have broken me if the voices did not shout at you to stop?

we are bored with days and nights, miscellaneous hours, unseen stars and indifferent clouds. they no longer perform for us old tricks and simple illusions, because we chose to stop watching. but i hope to promise you that on the day you speak not the truth but honest questions, we will float on the water, watching their reunion show on a piece of the clear, darkened sky.