murder

so i screamed neither sharp nor painful.
it trailed off in my mouth, slid down my throat and shot up into my head.
then it ran around, and floated, eventually back into the trap door i had opened by mistake.
murder without blood without violence without sound.
murder with all my heart and all that was left behind, with reason and thought.
murder, because you grew taller and i grew older, and you grew deeper and i grew darker.
murder with your voice, with my jokes, with your innocent yesteryears and my future in the present.
murder! letting myself go looking one way and not the other. 
murder...your mind too far from my chamber, pulsing with time's meaningless leaps.
murder! trap! always dying, never dead.

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