analyze this.

today, i finally got out of the house and walked. i stopped in front of a children's clothing store, and remembered that i had a job there. i went inside, greeted the owner of the boutique, and went about my work.

when i was finished with my shift, i wanted to go visit a pet store. i wanted to see puppies. i wanted to buy a dog. i walked until i saw a bunch of my acquaintances on the cement steps of a korean store, all taking care of their own dogs. they acknowledged my presence with "hi" or "hey" and "hello" as i sat down by them, looking at their various dogs. how cute. after telling them that i wanted to go to the pet store, they directed me in the opposite direction. i was close-- just needed to take a left up that street.

yes. now i remember. i've been there before. of course it's in the opposite direction. i've been walking down the wrong intersection.

then i woke up, went to the bathroom, checked my facebook, email, and the new york times, turned off my cellphone alarm and went back to sleep.

i was in the boutique again, except this time, it was like a rite aid or walgreens. i...wait. no, i went inside an isolated deli first. i bought a beer. i choose between a natty light and a bud light, and although i picked the bud light, i ended up walking out of the deli drinking the natty light. beer. but when i went to crush the can for my five cent deposit, i was holding a bud light can. i...asked to buy the cheapest umbrella? flirted with the cashier? she was a girl? i...wait.

i was in walgreens shopping with my mother. we bought snack foods, and i was looking at the longest time at a package of pretzels that was filled with a huge block of pretzel-product, stamped into pretzel shapes. i wanted to eat pretzels, but i didn't buy a bag. they weren't really pretzels. i walked with my mom down the bakery aisle and asked her if she wanted some danishes. she picked them, and though i wanted to pick some other ones, i didn't say anything. after we'd picked four, we began to walk to the checkout.

funny. normally, she'd let me pick. huh.

damn. i really wanted that chocolate one.

then i watched as my mom argued over the price of some things as the worker rang them up. we paid over ninety dollars. ninety dollars for snack foods? for some reason, i was lagging behind, and as mom exited the store, dad walked in. he wanted to return two things. one was an opened box of tissues with only 30 tissues left. they let him exchange it for an unopened pack of 30 tissues. the other was...can't remember.

i never got to the puppy store.

i did, however, go to a mobster's daughter's wedding. this wasn't my first time. i am almost sure that i went to her's last year. and she even asked me if i went to her wedding before as i rode in her car driven by a chauffeur, accompanied by two other unidentified males. yes, i went to your wedding before. last year, maybe? and the events that followed this car ride was almost identical to what had happened the last time i went to her wedding.

as we drove, she instructed the driver to come pick her up near the train, but only immediately after the passing of the train. she said she had to go to the bathroom. but i didn't understand why she was leaving, didn't understand what she'd just said about the train, didn't understand why i was in this car going to her wedding...again? i felt like i had to go to the bathroom too. as she left the car, i got out too. i tried to keep up with her, but it was raining. pouring, really. i lost her. so i kept running and came across a wooden restroom.

i'd been there before. maybe even more than once.

i went inside, pushing on the swing door that divided the entrance and the three stalls. i was about to go into the third stall when i realized that someone was inside that stall. i hate it when someone else is in a public bathroom. and i was in a rush.

where the hell is the train station? where the hell is the mobster's daughter?

i pushed on the swing door, wanting to get out of there, when i almost bumped into an overweight, half-naked middle aged white man who was trying to get in. i squeezed by, moving myself against the wall, trying not to touch him. i ran, stopped at a red light, and saw a train station situated right on the opposite street. i saw a van that stopped there, in the middle of the street i was about to cross, and instinctively knew i had to get in.

you forgot: i'd been through this before.

when the pedestrian light was a go, i ran to the van, and saw that it was packed with faces. hoping there was enough room for me, i pulled on the door and saw that there was ample room. i also saw the mobster's daughter. she was already in the van.

we drove away right as the train passed by. a second later, the train blew up. another member in the van began a soliloquy on something that i can't remember. excited and scared, i listened. when we got to the wedding destination, we all jumped out of the van. i began to walk towards the door to the ceremony location when i saw two men struggle with and anally rape two overweight, middle-aged hispanic women in bright colorful dresses.

nobody else seemed to notice. nobody seemed to want to help. i think i stood there, shocked that this would happen on the streets in broad daylight, right outside of a wedding place, committed by men i rode in a van with...

i...

i walked inside. with images of the two women crying, hugging each other in their shared miseries, i walked inside, looking at the people carrying on their festivities. i grabbed two long ribbons, as i did before, except this time, i took two different colors. red and white, instead of pink. i didn't know what they were for, but i knew from the last time that i had to take two.

and i think that's where it all ended for me.