different.

i am a broken thing
you cannot fix
but remind me when i forget
you are a broken thing
i cannot fix
and when we are both
yelling about our brokenness
remind me again
so i can remind you
that since we are all
like this
we are not quite broken
we are
maybe
just the way we are
almost the same kind
of disjointedness
but in different shapes
and colors
different years
and waters
different
but not quite different.

to curl your hair around my finger
i hear your breath quiet on your pillow
i see when the cars pass by outside
your nose digs softly into it
by the running strips of shadowed light
so this way i lie awake
wondering if i should step over you
to go to the bathroom
to grab that q-tip
to run along
the insides of my ears
to rid the itch deep in my head
unreachable
though my nails are of considerable length
(i fear the edges might slice something loose)
so this way i lie awake
wondering if i should step over you
for fear of waking you
and for your peace i would
stay quietly and restrained
even as i tangle my limbs
as the drill continues through my ear
inside the knots of my mind.

at night
she could hear the couple
making love upstairs
rather forcefully

and
looking down at her copy
of lady chatterley
she wondered.

choose.

you can choose, i tell her
you can choose for me and for yourself
what you want to this be

you can tell me
i want you to lie
i want something sweet

not bitter stringy celery
not burnt pb-chocolate bars
not frozen leftovers

i want you to tell me
words that walk around
the dumpster stink

so tell me
that you care enough about me
to sugar my coffee

so i tell you
baby i've never loved
anyone but you

you are my life
my purpose
my heaven on earth

you make me whole
you make me happier
than i could ever imagine

you make me
tell you
what i don't know i don't mean

or you can tell me
i want your truth
i want your love

(because if i wanted
to hear lies
i could do that myself)

i want whatever
you have cooked
for our dinner tonight

even if it is only
the distance and air
between you and me

as long as you say
this is all i have
can you understand?