dream repeated; or, loss.

fell in love, falling asleep on his lap, feeling comfort in the initial tension in his muscles,
the breath that didn't quite come

when i looked good with chin-length hair that flipped at the ends, slightly, quietly,
when i was held in security, my body was happy, my mind disappeared

warmth
but no lips to remember you by

before they shouted run, run
i would have liked to fall asleep on your lap again,

but they had already shouted,
their words burned against my back
and made the sweat return to the pores from which they came--

leaping up the stairs i tried to avoid the flash of light that would take everything away:
i never saw it

my brother, i had a brother

he seemed to have forgotten something

now i can't remember if i forgot anything,
stopping atop the flight of stairs i paused with steady breathing.