lindsey.

i met her, and her brother,

elijah (i think), who cried

about daddy (who was going to come back,

soon, soon...soon) but stopped

short and restarted sporadically.

they wanted to play outside,

so we played,

on the slides,

in the sand,

swinging and hula hooping,

and tricycling.

she wanted me to push her 

when it was hard to pedal,

so i did, upon against the slight incline,

up to where the sidewalk ended,

where she rode herself down

to begin all over again.

on a fourth or fifth,

or maybe sixth or seventh (or more-th)

trip down, she asked me,

"are you married?"

and i thought, ha, what a funny question...

do i seem that old to her?

and i said, "no, i'm not...should i be?"

to which she responded,

"yes."

"i should?"

nod nod.

and i wondered why i should be,

and why i'm not,

and why on earth

i am so old...

i saw her father,

and i knew that it was almost time

for her to go.

i made her a scratch-art card

with her name on it,

and a yarn necklace

with two tones of blue

(her favorite color),

then i handed them to her,

and she looked confused.

she pointed to the card,

"what's that?" she asked,

and i wondered

if she knew how to read.

she was five.

and i assumed.

"it's your name," i said,

pointing to the letters

crossing diagonally down

from left to right across the card,

"isn't it?"

i made sure to peek at her name card

that her father held in his hands

moments before,

just in case i remembered it wrong

(i did, i thought it didn't have a "d").

she nodded, and took both offerings,

and returned to the showing of Shrek.

and when she left,

she came swiftly up to me,

who was sitting behind her on a chair,

and said a pronounced

"thank you"

and i smiled

but she'd turned away before she saw.