on top

bagels,
without any additions.
pick a nice one,
plain and crunchy soft.
blueberry,
cinnamon raisin,
whole grain
subtly sweet,
simple satisfaction guaranteed.
should you be allured
by the cream cheese,
butters and jam selection,
be careful what you choose.
don't they look delicious,
you say to yourself-
how nice that would look
on top of my toasted everything!
but there are so many,
which would you pick?
i'm slightly scared
you'd want to try them all.
will you decide on
the one that you'd never tire of,
the one whose taste
makes your mouth want more,
your mind sighing
(what for, what for?)
your heart content
knowing
it will never be a bore?

(is the one on your mind the one
that is already in my hand?)

question

"what is circling round in your mind
that thing that won't leave you behind?"

do you think if i fell inside
this whirl
that you would catch me
before i sink?
if i throw my hand upwards
would yours be lowered
to mine
in time?
joke, they tell me it's a joke,
that i'm one of those silly folks
who feeds too much hope
into the unknown,
who tries to sail in a boat
but knows not where she's going.
lost
in fear.
scared and in tears,
unseen, but they're there.
well, i say that i'm just fine.
what's mine is mine,
and the rest i'll somehow find
though they think i'm blind.
do you think you know who i am?
will you be kind
and throw me a line?
will you prove them wrong,
they who think i am gone?
they laugh,
they think i'm mad!
but will you make them ask,
what is circling round in your mind
this thing that won't leave you behind?

talk.

let's talk.
i feel like a child
when i see people
hugging each other.
let's talk.
i feel alone,
out of the picture,
trying to follow
but never quite there.
let's talk.
i want to go
with you
wherever that might be.
let's talk.
i want you to listen
to me and my words
to my breathing.
let's talk.
i want you to guess
everything i haven't said,
hiding, waiting, waiting...
let's talk
about me
about you
and her,
how she can make your soul
escape.
i'll listen,
and let you talk
about how lovely it is
to be the one for her,
how you can't imagine
a time she isn't in.
you say, gently
she boggles your mind
dances with your heart
kisses your nose and lips.
i say,
i say...
i smile,
your words make me smile.
let's talk,
about happiness,
and how she makes you
so so happy.

go.

smiles,
inside and out.
i'm almost certain
where i am,
one foot here
and the other there,
with a slight but sincere smile,
and a pair of half-frowning eyes.
i look quickly,
let my head tilt back
so that nothing falls out,
or it might flood this nice place.
i know that maybe this is what
i'd thought it'd be,
because,
happiness comes naturally
even when you walk away.
because,
i have hope
and i put it all in you.
i smile
when you've found your destination,
and i laugh
as you let the sun shine on your face.
because,
you're happy,
and despite this reluctance,
i can smile for you.
for you, i can hold back,
i can give you
a day without rain.
concentrate on my smile,
that's what's true,
don't search for my eyes,
because they aren't kind,
both pleading with something close
to insanity.
you needn't know,
because that's my reality,
not yours.
i could wait forever,
but you won't,
you know how it goes.
look here,
take the smile,
and go.
my face won't miss it.
my heart never had it.
my mind...doesn't want to think about it.
(i want you good and gone
by the time the flood comes.
i want to see my smile
on your face.)