whitewashed and dirtied and whitewashed again
i stared at the sentences slowly running down the length
of top to bottom to never seen and ever hidden
why, then, do they write on changes of paper
whose wish and will is only to travel south
eternally rolling to an unknown anywhere
better off than an endless everywhere
yet poorer than there or here or here or there
now looking at these words of everyday tones
she says hello and you reply in wishes for days
of nothing in particular but always goodness and health
and may we live until next year's birthday party
when all we would do is exactly what we have done
today we lived for nothing in particular
and tomorrow we will live because the days are abundant
because the day after tomorrow will wait on us
waiting with the patience of a mother who is too tired to speak
waiting in her silence, her yes and okay.
now hush
just listen
i did not ask
for your opinion
so on one of these quiet days we will walk out our apartment doors
and pick up our newspapers delivered on time, again
but this time when we look down to the printed headlines we will see
no headlines and no words and no date and no names
and do you know why?
now hush
just listen
i did not ask
for your opinion
no, we have not yet gone blind with our senile lives
(but good guess, for we will soon)
for like oil stains that are too long ignored
these similar days will ruin our whitewashed walls
which, at an eventual time, will have turned transparent
ignoring our wishes for a whiter white, a new beginning
when the walls are recklessly dirtied beyond repair
you will no longer see the words your friends have written
on your face your horror congealed with disbelief
do you not know what is happening?
now hush
just listen
i did not ask
for your opinion
yes, i know you did not foresee this
but you have heard from your parents, have you not, of this
monstrous creature who deletes all your memory of files
of memories you should have kept so near to your own heart
but you, silly girls and boys, did not believe your parents' words
for you thought them old and dated, useless compared to today's great things
that man has created, things greater than God,
things greater than all, including you!
now hush.
just listen.
i did not ask
for your opinion.
you realize at this point who is old, who is dated, and dare you tell me
who is useless? dare you tell me
whose responsibility had been forsaken? dare you tell me
anything i had not known already?
oh.
am i bitter?
and now have you any reason not to be bitter,
forbidden from speaking as if my hands are on your mouth,
as if my nails have clawed your lips together and sewn them forever,
as if i have any power against your wish to tell me some more lies
made in denial?
why, look at me.
i have no hands,
i have no control,
i barely have this voice
residing in your mind.
and you, dear, should know better
than to call me a fraud:
have you forgotten
that i used to be simply
the patient, silent voices
of your memories whitewashed away?
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