falling

in a word,
i am
gladsadohsomad,
and i know
it isn't nice
i try and guess
how much worse
it all can turn
before i am wise
(i am hoping now
for the dice
to land on nine.)
so it goes, they say,
out of fading windowsills
i dropped and plopped
into the sea
(will you catch me?
...or did you push me?)
water and nothing else
it's so lonely!
silence
is a terrifying noise...
sinking
in the bitterly sweet,
waiting to float
i've waited too long.
drowning, and
starting to wonder
if i'll ever surface,
(dying?)
if i am still living?
tired eyes
closing,
everything
whirring,
motions slowing
body tiring
no, no...
no more flailing.
the sun has come
so near!
serene,
endearing,
it looks closer
at a drifting stranger
(no one will find her.)

they say so often
she is sleeping.
(caution)
truth comes
from repetition.